29 Things A Social Media Manager Never Wants To Hear… and the responses you wish you could give.

#1. Can you make this go viral?

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#2. We just bought 10000 followers. Yay.

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#3. On day one… We’ve had no sales yet.

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#4. I’ve just posted this on Instagram (cue totally unrelated Unstyled and hashtag free post).

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#5. HOW much??!!

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#6. XYZ Agency just told me they do our socials for £20 a month.

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#7. I'll pay you a percentage of sales instead of a monthly fee ok?

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#8. Can you get an A lister to share this for us?

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#9. Can you just send this out to our competitors followers?

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#10. We need to be on TikTok (boring niche B2B company with no personality at all)

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#11. No one even uses Facebook anymore

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#12. Our receptionist is going to help you with Instagram – she’s young so she knows what she’s talking about.

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#13. We don't want you to share other people's content.

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#14. I can’t pay you that much but we will give you a free “insert a product you don’t need” and I have great contacts.

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#15. We don't want you to share any ‘behind the scenes' content.

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#16. There's a typo on this post (that they posted without your knowledge) can you change it immediately (at 7.30pm on a Sunday evening)

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#17. I don’t think this is working for us. (After 1 month)

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#18. No, I don't have a website, or an email list and I don't want one

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#19. We can't give you any photos or videos but we don't want you to use stock images either but you can manage without right?

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#20. Can you add this to our website?

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#21. My friends uncles brother said we should be posting on Facebook 7 times a day so let’s do that from tomorrow ok.

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#22. Can you make sure this sells out?

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#23. Let's do some Facebook ads to sell 50 of these [insert expensive thing]. We've got a budget of £50.

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#24. Can you do some google ads too?

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#25. Can you make sure the press pick up on this?

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#26. Can I have a discount? We are only a small business.

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#27. Why haven’t we got as many followers as [insert their biggest competitor]?

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#28. We don't do any other marketing”

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#29. You know your invoice……

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